The Bridge
I have no sense of direction; maps mean nothing to me (just a bunch of squiggly lines winding in and out all over the place); even written directions confuse me. I usually end up arguing with the Mapquest piece of paper doubting its accuracy; thus I end up lost. When I get lost I don’t realize it immediately; that would be too easy—instead I drive for miles and miles. It doesn’t have to be an unfamiliar route for me to lose my way—familiarity and getting lost have nothing to do with each other. How does this happen in familiar territory you ask?—simple; I don’t pay attention… isn’t that comforting to all of you fellow travelers that may meet me on the road one day?… Just steer clear of all the silver Pontiac Vibes and I’m sure you’ll be okay…
Like I said, when lost I drive for miles never realizing I’m on the wrong path—totally unaware of my surroundings. THEN something fascinating happens every time; I approach a bridge. The bridges are always different; no two alike. These bridges snap me back into reality and make me realize I’m going in the wrong direction. Unfamiliar scenery; road signs---none of the usual signals that cause most people to question their direction have an impact on me; only bridges.
Instead of turning around at the sight of the bridge, I always keep traveling towards it and cross. Something about its presence draws me in its direction. After crossing, I turn around and backtrack… I am a professional at backtracking—go figure…
When this “phenomenon” first happened I became nervous and wondered if I would find my way; you know that “lost forever” kind of feeling—okay I’m overly dramatic, but it freaked me out. Today I cross the bridges with confidence; laughing at myself for yet another traveling blunder.
Have you ever noticed the magnificence of a bridge? The strength it must have to endure...vehicles of all sizes crossing it; the way it connects one side to another with beauty and debris flowing underneath… I am convinced that a bridge holds the answers to all of my questions in life.
You see, I’m on one side of the bridge doubting my strength; am I strong enough to carry the load that has been placed upon my shoulders (whether this load is of my own doing or someone else’s is beside the point)? This doubt separates the ME that people perceive me to be and the ME that is thriving in my soul—two different people. One that I allowed to be molded by society; the other that is alive, vibrant, and yearning to be set free.
Will I allow myself to be drawn to this bridge of my life? Will I have the courage to cross over to the other side appreciating the beauty that life has bestowed upon me and letting go of the debris that continues to weigh me down? Will I be able to leave this illusion of myself far behind and embrace the person I hunger to be—imperfections and all?
Crossing over into unfamiliar territory with a sense of direction instead of disorientation; a sense of humor; and a feeling of accomplishment. Yes, I love bridges; I no longer fear them, but embrace their presence. As I cross the unfamiliar bridges in my travels I imagine crossing my own bridge and what a glorious day that will be…
LIKE A BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATERS--simon and garfunkel
posted by Gaye at 6:17 PM
10 Comments:
what a great post!!! i know where i got my sense of direction, or lack thereof.
i personally think you are making your way across the bridge that is life a lot faster than you think ... and when you finally make your way to the other side there will be no reason for you to turn around and backtrack.
What a coincidence........I have this weird fear of certain KINDS of heights.....like bridges....or railroad tracks on sides of mountains......I could climb like a monkey in trees and other tall things with nary a fear but put me in a vehicle or train where I can't sense what is supporting me and it takes everything I have not to freak!
But yes, I find bridges fascinating, and, like most men, I can understand most maps quite well, thank you. It's a gender thing, doncha know........
You'll find your bridge, and you'll cross it too, with nothing less than aplomb!
(I'm keeping my eyes open for you too, if I find it, I'll be a hollerin'!) :-)
Gaye, I envy you in that Lindsay follows your blog. Truly, you are blessed.
Gaye, you have crossed a lot of bridges and traveled many miles down the highway to a new, and better, life. There were days when you didn't travel very far and there have been some that found you going in reverse. Yet you keep on traveling.
One of these days you are going to look around and notice the terrain has changed. The beauty will stun and disorient you for a moment. Then you will realize you are having a good life and be able to see how very far you have journeyed.
Keep on keeping on!
you are going to get where you need to go...it is so apparent that you are a strong, amazing woman. good things are waiting.
lindsay--I'm getting there with your help... thanks!
the michael--men understanding maps, okay; men asking directions--don't think so; a gender thing...
still searching--we'll both cross our bridges; I just know it...
iwonder--this daughter of mine is remarkable. I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for her. Blessed; you betcha--she's compassionate, intelligent, passionate, practical, driven, fun as hell--I like to think I had a hand in it; but I really believe she was destined to be the person she is...
buffalo--thanks for the words of support. I journey on with the help of some really special people; I'll NEVER as long as I live forget these beautiful souls that have helped me along the way.
anisa--thanks! Sometimes I wonder; then a handful of people start kicking me in my butt and encourage me to forge on--I'm very grateful...
Will I allow myself to be drawn to this bridge of my life? Will I have the courage to cross over to the other side appreciating the beauty that life has bestowed upon me and letting go of the debris that continues to weigh me down? Will I be able to leave this illusion of myself far behind and embrace the person I hunger to be—imperfections and all?
You realize it takes courage.
You realize that on the otherside of the Bridge there is beauty and a wonderful destiny.
You realize that what you are holding onto continues to weigh you down.
You realize that there is an illusion that you must best.
You have a great idea how who and where you want to be.
Gaye, I would say you have a map...a well drawn map.
All you need to do now is continue to walk through that illusion, and to become what you already are..but just need to accept..and believe that you are worth being that person.
You're already there..you just need to dispell that illusion.
And I believe you can. :)
Such wonderful comments. Matt, that was beautiful, smiles. Gaye, i hope that wherever your journey in life takes you.... that the bridges you continue to cross will lead you to much love and happiness.
Hugs,
~gina~
my cousin could get lost in our small town--and he'd lived their for 20something years! We always picked on him for that.
I always love your analogies.
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