Insomnia

Last week I could count on one hand how many hours I slept the entire seven nights. Just for the record; I am a very patient person… just for the record; this past weekend I was NOT!
I work 40 hours in 3 days with 8 teenage girls in a therapeutic foster home. I’m Ms. Easygoing Gaye; they can’t ruffle my feathers. At least they can’t ruffle Ms. Easygoing Gaye; but they sure as hell can ruffle the feathers of Ms. Sleep Deprived Gaye. I’m ashamed…

The new girl made me want to claw my eyeballs out. How many freakin’ times do I have to repeat the freakin’ menu… and yes YOU have to eat what’s on it… and NO it’s not going to change if you ask me 14 trillion more times. Good Grief!!!! I wanted to do something creative with that damn menu but I was too tired to be creative. At one point I found myself trying to get in the last word with her… I never do that!… And hell she was winning for crying out loud!

I CAN cook; I HATE to cook. So sleep deprived Gaye got to cook every meal all weekend for 10 people. I come from a small family damn it! I tried to be clever and wait my co-worker out to see if she would go in the kitchen and start the meals… just ONE. No such luck… Groceries!!! Sleep deprived Gaye got to go pick those up at Campus… crates, boxes, ice chests full of food… a weekly massive undertaking. Lucky me!

It gets better! I was hand picked to take 4 of the girls shopping at Target. This was AFTER cooking 2 meals, catching up on paperwork from the day before, picking up after the messy girlies all day (I’m not supposed to do that but I’m a rebel!), and dealing with "new girl". OH!!! By the way!!! New girl calls me Ms. Gayle… not because she doesn’t know my name, but because she doesn’t LIKE the other word (Gaye). Sleep deprived Gaye wanted to call her a name; and so I did; her name… darn it!

Just in case you think this is exaggerated or that I was the only one that was nuts that day consider this… one of the other girls walked over and plopped down beside me while I was counting backwards from a zillion to calm down and whispered to me, "I need a xanax!" I said, "WHAT??" She said, "I mean it. That girl is driving me crazy!" We both laughed.

Okay, back to Target… if they take $100.00 they want to spend $110.00. I can’t let any of them out of my sight… 4 teenage girls… all different sizes… different interests… shopping together… FUN! The checkout line is unbelievably exciting. It’s always exhilarating to wonder if the people behind you in line are going to shove their carts up your ass because the girls have more items in their carts than they have money. So they stand there; hold up the line; and decide what they want to put back… it’s a group discussion you see… they value the opinion of their peers.

Finally Sunday arrived and I was all psyched up when I got to work… just 15 more hours and I’ll be off for 4 days… HEAVEN… well it was heaven while it lasted. A co-worker needed me to come in early for her Monday morning for a few hours and then I received the added bonus of having to go to Training all Monday afternoon.

I’m hoping for good sleep between now and Friday because Ms. Gayle has got to be at the top of her game; I’m gonna win this time "new girl"! Insomnia… sigh~~~~

Sleepy Time Time--Cream

Her Mansion In The Sky

My Grandma Fox was a unique woman. She was a tiny red-head with a fair complexion , and not so grandmotherly ways. That’s not a bad thing by any means. She was true to herself; feisty; vivacious; social. I never once saw her in a bad mood, a frown, or complaining. Cooking was foreign to her; in other words… don’t eat it!

Grandma Fox had a life… a life of her own… a life that she enjoyed to the fullest. She had a circle of devoted friends that stayed on the road traveling from Bingo parlor to Bingo parlor. The woman was addicted. She also had a knack for winning… and that meant the grandkids got some of that good ole money.

Grandma also played cards weekly… for money of course… and she just loved the taste of beer… only for the taste mind you!

Her and my Grandpa divorced after my Dad got married to my mother. From that time on she lived with her dad and sister until they both died; then she lived alone until she entered the nursing home—it was short-lived due to her death.

Grandma never spanked her four kids; this petite woman carried them around on her hip until their feet would drag the ground. As far as the spanking goes… well, HER kids never needed it… so there! This woman was fixated on Lawrence Welk! I swear it was on her tv every time I went to her house; she must have had a secret crush on him.

She never asked for anything. Always minded her own business. Let our family function the way we chose to function without getting involved. Grandma loved babies; and they loved her. Everything they did was grand; even when they would be getting a little rowdy.

She started suffering mini strokes which affected her memory. She knew what was going on and would get frustrated when she couldn’t remember… she tried so hard. This is when her voice; the voice she had always chosen to remain silent emerged… it emerged in song. At the nursing home she would sing LOUD in her room. Of course the grouches complained, but that didn’t stop her because she couldn’t remember… the memory loss came in handy there! We thought it was funny.

Staff loved her. She was so cooperative… wanted to do everything just right for them. Before she went to the nursing home she would tell me about her "mansion in the sky" and how very beautiful it was going to be. "He promised me you know", she would say. "I know Grandma; it’s going to be everything you’ve ever dreamed of." Once in the nursing home she would repeat over and over while she was sitting in her wheelchair… "Is this where I’m supposed to be? Am I in the right place?’

At her funeral a beautiful memorial was read that was written by one of her daughters. It ended with…"yes Mom, you’re where you’re supposed to be… you’re in exactly the right place… your mansion in the sky. We love you."

I miss you Grandma Fox; I love you so much… Happy Birthday!

Not A Day Goes By--Lonestar

I Met “Just Jack”!

You know the guy… "Just Jack" on Will and Grace. Actually this wasn’t him, but he acted so much like the character that this is the name I gave him. We met at Reagan International Airport in DC on my way back to Arkansas… it was a HOOT! And this is how it went… classic!

"Just Jack" approached the ticket counter all perky making sure he was in the correct location. He walked over to me and jumped in the chair beside me… he didn’t sit in it… he pounced in it. Did I mention he was in his sock feet? Yes he was. Before he pounced he dropped his shoes on the ground and they went rolling. "Just Jack" was a wee bit tipsy!! Then he proceeded to speak… I managed to get a word or two (maybe) in the conversation.

"Just Jack"---"I like you!!!"
Me—"You do."
"Just Jack"—"Yes I do because you let me sit beside you. You see I missed my plane earlier and I’ve been stuck at this airport for four hours!!"

Actually "Just Jack" was in the airport bar for four hours!

"Just Jack"—"I’ve been visiting my friend in DC for his birthday. I got him a gold ring with 7 diamonds in it. It was HIS birthday but he gave ME presents too---this Gucci coat; a Versace bracelet; and this gold ring with a diamond."
Me—"WOW!!"
"Just Jack"—"I bet you’ve never seen a Gucci coat before…" (as he stood up and modeled it)
Me—"No I haven’t, and it’s beautiful."
"Just Jack"—"Here’s the Versace bracelet and the ring."
Me—"That’s a good kind of friend to have."
"Just Jack"—"Yeah, I love visiting him…. You have the whitest teeth; and a tan… I have a tan too."
Me—"It’s all about the tan, huh?"
"Just Jack"—"And you have the cutest stupid southern drawl…"
Me—"Stupid????"
"Just Jack"—"Um no I mean simple; no I mean you never say simple to people because then they know you really mean stupid."
Me—"First of all I’m not simple. And second of all I’m not stupid." (smiling)
"Just Jack"--He started to laugh… "Seriously, I’m from Memphis… I talk the same way! By the way, what’s your name?"
Me—"Gaye."
"Just Jack"—"Oh my God; you’re kidding… I am TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is incredible!"
Me—"You’re hilarious!"

The ticket guy made the last call to board "Just Jack’s" plane. He decided he’d better hop on before he missed his second flight in one day. As he walked down the "tunnel" to the airplane he stopped in his tracks… everyone behind him had to stop too. He bounced in the air, waved his arms and screamed…

"Just Jack"—"Bye Gaye… have a safe flight!"
Me—"You too!"
I’m still smiling… this guy was a joy… and that Gucci coat was mighty fine too!

Just a side note…
When I arrived at the airport in DC I went through security. I’ve been through security many times. But this time instead of walking through the metal detector first I had to stand inside of a device that looked like a metal detector. While standing inside, this machine shoots air all over your body; I wasn’t expecting it. The security guard on the other side started laughing and told his buddy that from the look on my face the machine had scared me to death. As I approached him on the other side I said, (in my stupid southern drawl) "I’ve never been blown at an airport before." Good grief… what was I thinking…. He started dying laughing. I immediately tried to correct myself telling him that I’m sure that didn’t sound very good, huh? He assured me he had heard much worse. Oh well… he got his laugh for the day and I got a good one too. I just love airports!!! Up, up and away… hey, hey, hey!!

I'm So Fly--Lloyd Banks